UnpleasantlySexy

Four.

That's precisely how many hours of not working I did at work today.

It was so boring that I took a birthday balloon and drew a face on it with a Sharpie marker. It was a caricature of Larry. I then named my balloon man "Lemmy", and told Larry that it was his long-lost brother. I must've batted Lemmy around the room for at least an hour.

Then, Larry and I got into an argument.

It all started when he said that everything he says is a fact, "even when it isn't true."

I told him that as soon as something is proven untrue, it can no longer be a fact...and actually, as of that moment of truth, it no longer ever was a fact. I looked it up. I'm right.

He said, "There are only two categories: fact or opinion. If it isn't one, it's the other."

I then said, "There's a whole bunch of other categories, Larry, such as statements, questions, soft rock and country. Would you say that 'Achy Breaky Heart' is a fact or an opinion?"

He said he may give mistaken facts, but they are always facts nonetheless.

Since my brain was now trying desperately to find an escape hatch out of my skull, I went back to playing with Lemmy, 'cause he was a whole bunch more fun than Larry.




S