UnpleasantlySexy

I forgot to tell you guys about THIS one!

By now, you're all familiar with Creepy Guy, so let me add to your disgust.

See, he fancies himself a genius of sorts, and he has a tendency to butt into conversations and explain the "science" of things. For example, if I were to say, "It was a full moon last night," to Larry, Creepy Guy would butt in and say something to the effect of, "The temperature of the moon varies from negative 233-degrees Celsius to 123-degrees Celsius!" Then he would say, "I was this close to a degree in astrophysics."

Now, you look at this guy - 47 years old and working in a mailroom, and you don't immediately think, "Now that's a smart cookie!" Rather, you start taking shallow breaths through your mouth, hoping you don't smell him when you walk by.

One morning (when Larry was gone and I was trapped, alone), Creepy Guy began talking about the Israeli-Palestinian situation. Not only does he feel that he is fully qualified to talk about this with me, but he begins getting really animated, pounding the desk and such while he's talking.

At the end of this rant, he announces, "We should have ethnically cleansed the Palestinians completely out of there years ago!"

Holy hole in a donut, Batman, this guy ain't right!

Not being all that sharp that early in the morning, I decided to prod him a bit, and I said, "That's right, because the best way to take care of poverty-stricken kids throwing rocks is to roll a bunch of tanks over them."

He said, ominously, "You don't agree with me...?"

Then Larry showed up, and Creepy Guy didn't say anything else, for he hates Larry. Why can't he hate me, too?

Now, all of the above story happened months ago, and I had, surprisingly, let it go.

Today, he came back to the subject while Larry was out of the room. He got up from his desk and leaned into my cube. "So, do you agree with me yet about Israel?"

Whoa. I was scared a bit, and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I got up, pushed past him and left the room. The weird was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.


Today's story isn't so funny, but it's thick, thick weird, lemme tell ya.




S