UnpleasantlySexy

My motivation to write in my blog has been nearly eradicated by the sheer dumbness of my daily routine:

I wake up every morning 15 minutes before my alarm, because the dogs can sense the exact moment that, were I suddenly awakened by a single sharp bark, would ruin any sleep I may have successfully achieved. Then, there's a fifteen-minute stretch of pure insanity as I feed three animals, get them outside to poop, get my teeth brushed and my clothes on, and fly out the door. I speed out of the neighborhood to make sure that I run into the usual glut of traffic on time, and I arrive at work exactly four minutes late, no matter how early I left the house.

If it's Monday or Tuesday, I walk into my training class and encounter my trainer, whom I believe to be irrationally threatened by me. I work hard at a painfully repetitive task until it's time to leave, periodically interrupted when the trainer steps in to correct me on various things. Then, I get a list of everything I've done wrong over the previous week, and the trainer gets to explain all of my errors to me.

If it's Tuesday afternoon or later, I get to go back to the mailroom, because I've already completed my entire week's worth of work by around noon on Tuesday, and they won't let me do anymore. Since they've already hired someone to replace me in the mailroom, I go in there and sit, bored, until it's time to leave - about 6-and-a-half hours.

Then, I go home and watch TV eat and wrangle the dogs until 9:00. At 9:00 I have to begin coaxing Ziggy to poop outside and not in our bedroom. That ends around 10:15 with a successful pooping and me in a nearly blind rage. Julia's been home for about an hour at this point, so when I come in, I hug and kiss her and head off to bed. I read for a few minutes and try to fall asleep, but that doesn't happen until around 2:15, and that's the last I remember until a single sharp bark wakes me up again.

THIS is why I can't do funny blogs anymore.

So now it's late Friday night, and I'm havin' a beer, dammit.



S