UnpleasantlySexy

OHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!!

I started my new job, and so far, I'm impressin' the heck outta 'em! I even worked late on Friday to help meet a deadline, and for those of you that don't know - stayin' late ain't sumpthin' I typically do on a voluntary basis.

I also have received a wonderful Mac Powerbook from Julia's dad, Joe. I believe that I am in love with this machine, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm typing on it now! Look at me go!

Lastly, I had jury duty today, and it SUH-SUH-SUCKED. After eight hours, I was not picked, but I WAS fortunate enough to be seated next to the CFO from my last job - literally, the guy who signed my checks. Awk-ward!

There was one sort of weird bright point, though. Some dude came in wearing a cowboy hat with an American flag bandanna wrapped over the top of it. He had a denim jacket with the American flag stitched, in denim, across the back of it, and he was wearing a T-shirt that said, "USA: Defenders of Freedom!" But that is not all - oh, no! He also was wearing red jeans that were tucked into the coup de grace - something so bizarre that it's needs it's own paragraph:

Imagine, if you will, a pair of cheap, white, Wal-Mart athletic shoes. Then, imagine a pair of excessively American-ized cowboy boots, complete with big stars and stripes on the sides. Now, if you were to cut the tops off of those very lovely boots and graft them onto the sneakers so that you could then pull those very lovely sneakers onto your legs LIKE boots, you would have something like this guy has - and you, too, could tuck your red jeans into 'em.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, this footwear is SO chic that I can't even find anything similar on Google, so I'm gonna have to call 'em what I called 'em in my head when I first saw 'em: Homeless Shoes.

I may be mistaken, but he might have been humming a Mellencamp song, too. Americ...reepy.

When Flag-Man entered the room, the judge asked him to remove his hat, explaining that everyone should remove their hats in the room out of respect for the legal system. Instead, Flag-Man approached the bench to say (loud enough for me to hear in the back of the room), "I cain't take it off, Judge. The only one who's ever seen me without my hat is Jesus."

Even the judge cringed at that.

Needless to say, he was NOT chosen to perform his civic duty today.

Since I couldn't find a picture of the Homeless Shoes for you, here's something else I came across that made me laugh until I had to pee.
















That's it!