UnpleasantlySexy

I hate PowerPoint.

I hated PowerPoint in college, when all the instructors had just learned to use it, and EVERY SINGLE CLASS consisted of 300-slide presentations that utilized loud swooping noises, lame animations, and cheesy music that nobody wanted to hear.

After nearly three weeks of assembling a series of PowerPoints (over 200 slides!) for our New York consultants, I can honestly say two things:

1) I am now a PowerPoint GOD, and deserve to carry a spear and magic helmet at all times.

and

2) If I could, I would punch PowerPoint square in the nuts repeatedly until my knuckles bled, because it sucks more than any sucky thing has ever sucked in the history of sucking.

However, I am now done, and am considerably less bitter and growly than I was last week.

I have been listening to a bunch of new music lately - primarily to block out the sound of my teeth grinding as I contemplated how to get teachers excited about teaching English to non-native speakers using only the charm and guile of Microsoft Office Suite 2003.

Here's the rundown:

The new Radiohead album, In Rainbows, gets a rating of 1 warm beer: I want to finish it, and I want to enjoy it, but it's a bit of work to get through, and I'm only drinking it because I feel bad dumping it out.

I discovered an album called Fort Nightly by a band named The White Rabbits. It gets a rating of 8 Burt Reynolds's: At first it's alright, and it's got great sideburns, but when you line 'em all up, the kick-assy-ness just increases exponentially.

I've also listened to everything the Decemberists have ever done, and, as a band, they get a rating of 2 tiddlywinks tournaments on the moon: Tiddlywinks tournament? Wow...that is so not cool...but it is on the moon, so it's kinda more awesome than anything.

And last - I've been listening to, memorizing each note of, and generally trying to absorb Wilco's Sky Blue Sky into my very soul. Ultimately, it gets a rating of 19 Scarlett Johannsons covered in peach cobbler...and me without my fork: Yes, it's that good. Unless you're not a peach cobbler fan. If that's the case, then I meant chocolate ice cream.



S