I ain't done blogged nuthin' in a month o' Sundays! Sorry 'bout that.
Blogga the Hutt demands payment, and thus, I write.
And I'm gonna talk about...ACTION FIGURES!
For those of you still reading, you should know that I bought a 12-inch-tall Captain Kirk action figure, complete with cloth uniform, and it made me all nostalgic. Used to be, I found it perfectly normal to have no fewer than 6 large boxes full of G.I. Joes, Star Wars figures, Transformers, etc., readily accessible at any given time. I never had a Star Trek figure, though, so I had to buy Kirk. You understand. Behold, the Shatner-esque, "I-never-met-a-green-chick-I-wouldn't-boink-twice" furrowed brow:
At any rate, I experienced a level of unbridled excitement and childlike joy when The Captain arrived, via Amazon, at the door. I took him with us out to eat. If we had even a small portion of the yard that wasn't dog poop-regated, there's a good chance I'd have had The Captain exploring some spectacular imaginary jungle planet, phaser in hand. Fortunately for Julia, this phase passed rather quickly, and The Captain now resides atop one of our bookshelves, striking an appropriately dramatic, "...because I'm Kirk, bitches" pose...where he will undoubtedly collect dust from here on out.
Here's the cool/weird/poignant/Sam-is-a-complete geek part: every time I walk past The Captain now, I literally just itch with the desire to play the way I used to when I was a kid.
You know what? Adulthood ain't nearly so fun as the massive, world-hangs-in-the-balance, all-out action figure wars I staged across the house when I was twelve, so propriety be damned! Don't be surprised if, the next time one of you guys come by the house, you open the door to find a platoon of injection-molded plastic dudes, all armed to the teeth, staring you down. I'll be right behind them, possibly wearing Star Wars underoos. And I'll be happy.
I'm gonna buy me a Captain Picard figure next.
I got my stepdad Picard, Data, and Worf action figures for Christmas. And he has some from Nemesis too. AND we got him a live-sized Seven of Nine cardboard cutout. He also has an Seven Christmas ornament and an Enterprise lamp.
ReplyDeleteBut none of the action figures he has have CLOTH outfits. That's pretty rad.
AND I forgot to mention that I think Kirk is a douchey playa'. Picard can kick Kirk's ass. Don't they have STIs in the future? I hope Kirk uses a condom.
Couple weeks ago I read a great Norwegian young-adult novel from the last few years (it's the beginning of a series, and the first one, the one I read, was made into a movie) called "Pitbull Terje Runs Amok," which features drunken dads who are mall Santas, and agoraphobic moms and other adult worries. . .but the biggest dilemma the narrator character has is, Can I give up my Playmobils? What if my friends find out that I still play with action figures??
ReplyDeleteYeah.
It's okay. You can still play with Kirk. For all you know, he's just hankerin' to go mano a mano with the poop monsters in the yard. And I bet he's washable.
When it comes to Star Trek merchandise, I think I'd draw the line at the Enterprise lamp. Though, I did inherit an Enterprise telephone a while back, and though it sat unused, I thought it was pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteUndoubtedly, Julia would draw the line at life-size ANYTHINGs related to Star Trek. I assume this because Julia finally banned my life-size Eddie Vedder poster from ever hanging in our house again. And she LIKES him. Jean-Luc Picard, in all his shiny-headed glory, has yet to win her heart, I fear.
However, were we to come across a life-size cardboard cutout of Katie Sackhoff (as Starbuck, of course) from Battlestar Galactica, you can bet that sucker would be mounted on the living room wall...under some pretty elaborate track lighting...with a viewing chair strategically positioned five or six feet away.
No fair.
So your Kirk is black. Is this some sort of commentary on the inclusivness of Gene Rodenberry's world? Kirk got a tan? Maybe a little bad lead paint from China? He wouldn't be African-American....African-Galactic? Are people from other planets that are of a different skin color than us (by "us" I mean all peoples of the earth) considered...what? What are you saying here Sam?
ReplyDeleteAfrican-Galactic...
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious.
See, the thing is, in the 23rd century, the entire human race will be so...um...cross-pollinated, as it were, that all of us will be a smooth Billy Dee Williams-esque shade of burnt sienna.
You can't tell so much in the TV show because they light 'em poorly, but the entire crew of the Enterprise has the exact same skin tone...and they are not called African-Galactic - they are all simply Amearthicans.
Except for Spock. He still has to deal with galactic racism - mainly because, in the 23rd century, Earth has outsourced all of its tech-support needs to Vulcan, and the Amearthicans like to make fun of the way they talk over the phone.
Gene Roddenberry was able to conquer his own pan-galactic, afro-dimensional space prejudices, John. Why can't you?
Can't we all just get along?
As a non-fan, this conversation has been absolutely terrifying. Funny, but terrifying.
ReplyDeletePropriety's highly over-rated. When I was a kid, I played like there was no tomorrow (this is Kristy, by the way). Maybe that's why I like hanging out with the chil-uns---we're on the level.
ReplyDelete