UnpleasantlySexy

Let me start by saying that what you are about to read is not MY creation. The website www.cracked.com (you'll have to type it in - Blogger isn't linking to it correctly) publishes regular editorial articles about random, often hysterical things.

The one I just read (by Ian Fortey, iffen you must know) covered the 10 most bizarre military research projects he could find. This list included things such as bombs guided by pigeons, bombs strapped to flying bats, an actual, real-life Stargate, pain rays...and so on.

I've copied #4 from that list for you to read, because...well, despite the comedic nature of the article, it's actually TRUE -- I looked into it...and though I couldn't find a lot of info, I found enough to believe that this is not made up.

Ready to delve into a previously unknown sector of Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

And I'd totally drive a tank that looked like that, by the way, homophobes be damned.

Enjoy.

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#4. The Gay Bomb

In terms of great military plans, from the first ape-man who threw a rock at some other a**hole ape and likely stretching into our Jetsons-like future with lasers and nanobots that will melt the faces of those who displease us, nothing is likely to ever top the Gay Bomb. The Gay Bomb is exactly what it sounds like: a weapon that would rend our enemies asunder with gay. Actual, weaponized gay.

The Plan:

Wright Laboratory in Ohio proposed a number of non-lethal weapons to the Pentagon, as methods of crowd control are highly in demand these days and tear gas is about as cool as hippie daisies and beaded curtains. Instead, why not bathe your targets in an aphrodisiac chemical so strong that it caused all the enemy combatants to line up for mustache rides?

What went wrong:

In concept, it's probably true that an enemy is less effective when engaged in a massive, frenzied man-orgy. However, science has not actually perfected a way to make this happen to just any group of males.


Apparently the "how" was not the job of the idea department here, as the same lab proposed other weapons that would make bugs and rodents attack enemies, give them bad breath or mark them with a stink so they couldn't hide in general population. Again, that's all fine and good, if and when ways of doing those things actually exists. Despite that, the Pentagon kicked this idea around for at least seven years, perhaps based on nothing more than the private fantasy of one frustrated general.

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Weaponized gay.

Wow.

I had no idea you could bottle the stuff up and shoot it at people.

I can think of a few people that I would happily riddle fulla gay bullets.




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