UnpleasantlySexy

After working a full eight-hour day, it's sometimes hard to keep the left hemisphere of my brain from killing the right. It prompts strange musings...



I wonder what super powers Nipple Man would have…

If I were a rich gangster, I'd gold-plate my forearms.

Can time land?

I wonder how many times I've "barely made it out alive"...

The flag for my country would definitely have criss-crossed chainsaws on it.

Lazy eyes are funny. So are boobs.

I like trees, but I'd never date one.

Jumping over stuff is hard sometimes. Especially at work.

'Asshole' is a good name for a cat.

What if other people tasted like chocolate? Would you eat 'em then?

I don't jog every morning at 5am. I also practice not eating healthy.

I bet that somewhere, at some point, a bat has heard me fart. Cool, huh?

If I had lived in the 1800s, and had been a coal miner, I wouldn't have enjoyed it one bit.

My iPod thinks your iPod is gay.

It's good for me to not piss off my wife.

Has anybody ever proven that babies don't bounce?

Aromatherapy – is it worth it?


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