UnpleasantlySexy

I had previously thought that I had experienced just about every possible type of job interview.

Boy, was I wrong.

I get there this afternoon, and I learn that it's going to be a two-person panel interview - okay, no problem. The two interviewers are the woman to whom I 've been speaking with on the phone, and a man who, 2 minutes prior to my interview, submerged himself in a vat of Old Spice. All right...here we go.

It starts out fairly normally, but everything soon degrades to third-grade Make Believe Hour.

See, I made the mistake of asking how these two people found their way into their particular jobs. The 23-minute-long answer from the guy went pretty much like this: at one point he was something called a "distributor", where he made all his money and flew corporate jets and bought everything he wanted using an unlimited corporate spending account, but then he got married and had kids, and once you have kids you don't care about the things you care about anymore and you only care about the things they care about, but MAN, those jets were awesome!

Then things got weird.

He stood up, gripped an imaginary steering wheel, and proceeded to describe flying around in circles at 50,000 feet. He traipsed around the room making these "NEEEEEEOWWWWWWW" and "KREEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWW" sounds, steering the plane through the office. This is a man in his mid-thirties, mind you.

All the while, the woman has said approximately nine half-sentences, all of which vaguely echoed the things the man was saying. For example, the guy would say, "This company expanded its operations into Arkansas in 2004." Then, the woman would say, "Arkansas in 04..." Her voice would kind of trail off then, because I think she began picturing him in naughty poses.

Oh, and the woman never answered for herself. So far as I can figure it, her fingers couldn't take all the clinging to that dude's pectorals and one day she happened to fall off while he was at work,and she just decided to stay there.

Then I had to submit a writing sample. That went well.