UnpleasantlySexy

How are you supposed to celebrate a birthday for someone you don't like? We had one of those "office birthdays" today, and it was fantastically pathetic. There were about thirty of us in the room, and the combined power of all our voices gave the guy a heartwarming rendition of Haaapppuhhhhh Murmph-mmurrrrr toooyoooouuuuuuurrrrrrgggle. At least I think that's what we were singing - I only sang the the word "birthday" on the "happy BIRTHDAYYY, dear blah blahhhhhh" part. Then I put my headphones back on and ignored everybody.

Also, all the electronics in the driver's side of my van went kaput. I learned this fact slowly, as I attempted to pound my horn through the steering column to no effect, and then, only minutes later, I set my non-functioning cruise control and let my foot off the accelerator. I must've slowed down to , like, 40 miles an hour on the highway before I noticed. A bunch of other folks noticed before me, and very politely began honking and gesturing in incredibly creative ways. It looked like the freeway scene in The Matrix in my rearview - it was great! I love when people get super mad at stupid things.

Speaking of which:

The only other event today worth noting is that my dog scared my cat while she was using her litterbox. The dog walked up, scaring the cat, who then jumped, knocking the roof off of the box. This scared both animals and they bolted to the back of the house, making an incredible amount of noise. I became irrationally angry at the commotion, and yelled out loud, but because the animals were no longer in the room, my protest was in vain. Then, I mumbled angrily as I fixed myself a snack, banging my cup down and slamming the fridge. I hate when I get super mad at stupid things.

Ah, parenthood...