UnpleasantlySexy

I went into the men's room today, expecting nothing more than a satisfying pee.

Heh...

Within seconds of unzipping, I heard our CEO's voice, along with another guy, chatting it up as they entered the restroom. You must understand that I, despite my apparent and odoriferous guy-ness, am not particularly inclined to initiate, much less be included in, any form of conversation while I am...uh...doing the deed. Not to worry, though, because these two schmucks are talking amongst themselves, and I can slip out quietly, like a freshly-relieved ninja. Of course, this was not meant to be.

The CEO's voice sounds like a crack-addled Yogi Bear imitating Eddie Murphy's guffawing laughter. Lemme tell you, it's unpleasant, to say the least. It's made all the worse when, as I'm peeing, he SLAPS ME ON THE SHOULDER and asks, "How're ya doin' today, Sam?" Yes, he slapped the shoulder that's connected to the arm that's connected to the hand that's steering the whole shaboodle at that moment. After an emergency aim correction, I still have to answer him, because he's the boss. So I say, trying to sound un-menaced, "Sleepy today. Need coffee."

I don't think it makes a good impression on the big-wigs, me speaking Caveman to 'em at work.

He didn't answer me. Not a peep.

And frankly, it serves him right, touching me during my sacred Pee-Time.