Quite possibly the very best "Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey" that I have ever encountered:
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean THIS?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
Yes, Jack. A good trick indeed.
This is the Jack Handy quote I couldn't think of the other day. I used to have a calendar with it on one of the pages:
ReplyDeleteIs there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
That was more than ten years ago, but it still makes me laugh.
Sandy
I consider this kind of stupidity the "leash-free" area for my brain.
ReplyDeleteI still love this one:
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
And the first one I ever encountered:
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.