To clarify, "dad knowledge" is the mystical energy force that enables you to do previously impossible things, such as fixing lawnmowers, building various pieces of furniture, and allows for the complete disregard of any perceived public image (dark socks with tennis shoes, plumber butt, and the freedom to fart anytime and anyplace, for example).
"Dad knowledge" is often accompanied by "old-man strength", which is an added bonus, if you can get it. It enables you to crush the bones of a younger man's hand into powder whilst shaking hands. I think it comes from years of screwdrivering things, but I'm not sure.
Whatever the case, I can't wait to get it, and until I understand it better, I'm going to assume that it will be suddenly bestowed upon me much like "the quickening" in the Highlander movies. I'll be sitting on the sofa watching hockey one day, and a fierce wind will kick up, followed by a series of lightning bolts that disappear into my chest, and then I'll have it. Then I will know true power.
It'd be even cooler if I happened to have a sword in my hand at the time.
A lot of things would, for that matter.
S
ummm...there can be only one?
ReplyDeletebarring a dramatic transfer of dad-ly power, how will you know when you get there? you've got the mr-fix-it and farting parts down already...
It could also be more subtle, like a super-secret Batman-esque training regime.
ReplyDeleteAlso, everybody knows that I don't fart, Julia - I "fluffy". It's much daintier and socially considerate.
S