UnpleasantlySexy

This week on LOST!

We’re gonna see some stuff that happened before they got to the island, intercut with nothing actually happening on the island, except for the following:

Jack’s gonna stare at someone with his starey eyes. We might get a glimpse of a sexy armpit or two.

A polar bear appears, confuses everyone, then leaves.

Desmond says, “Is that what YOU think, brotha?”

The entire cast will be seen from a high camera angle, looking intently at the trees.

Ben says something completely mundane to Juliet, like “We’re out of Bagel Bites,” but then rolls his eyes to one side, creating skepticism as to his true motives regarding the Bagel Bites.

Sayid is briefly seen chopping wood, and then is never heard from again.

We find out that Sun is actually carrying the polar bear’s baby in a flashback, and Ethan Rom is mysteriously standing in the background, dressed as Mayor McCheese.

Claire doesn't do much, but she does say "My bay-bee!" over and over again.

Locke kills Charlie, skins him, and wears him as a raincoat...just because he can.

Kate decides she doesn't want Jack or Sawyer and ultimately declares her undying love for...Dharma brand ranch dressing.

With no Kate, Sawyer picks Hurley – comedy and man-love ensue.

The smoke monster appears for a second, in the form of Jerry Lewis, and screams "Hey LADIES!" before vanishing.

BOOM! RRREEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWW!


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