UnpleasantlySexy

Hello all!

I'm alive! After a rather fruitless trip to the emergency room yesterday (my eyes started dilating wildly, like I was on some crazy drugs...except without the drugs...dang...), I have been officially diagnosed as follows:

"You're fine. Drink some water."

There was also a whole lotta "Why the heck are you in the ER, you pansy idiot?" subtext to the diagnosis, which may not have come through to you, the beloved reader, in the text version above. Had anyone actually asked me that, I would have said, "Do your job, you arrogant fool! Don't you know who I am?!?"

That's a good way to ensure quality medical service, I hear.

I'm not going to go into the gory, or rather, squishy, details here in the ol' blog, but there was one funny thing that came out of my somewhere-in-the-vague-realm-of-death experiences over the past several days. I am going to go into the retarded details, however, so be prepared. They shall commence...NOW:

On Tuesday, I went back to work. See, I stayed home Monday, on account'a my overactive backside. [Editor's note: Yes, I've reverted, however briefly, to poop talk. It isn't gory, though - it's...well, it's merely gross. Not gory. Everybody poops, guys. It's true. I heard that there's a book about it, even. Awesome.] Julia sent me a very sweet email, checking on my condition, and my response was something similar to, or possibly exactly, "If my ass so much as raises an eyebrow, I'm going home."

That response got me thinking about my ass, but with eyebrows, and the disarming charisma that a good set o' brows would provide my rear end. My ass would be the Billy Dee Williams of the asses-with-eyebrows social hierarchy, I decided. Specifically, the Lando Calrissian version of ol' Billy Dee.

One smooth character, indeed.

Naturally, I told Julia all of this via my work email. I then began thinking of Lando quotes that would apply to such a situation, and here, now, we arrive at the point of this story. While there are an infinite number of potential topics that one could discuss with one's life partner over the course of the day, I have to say that I'm THRILLED that, quite often, discussions between Julia and I very logically arrive at sentences like this:


"Lando's not a system, he's my ass."





And then, "Somebody must've heard about my little maneuver at the Battle of Tanaab" becomes even more hilarious.

Asses with eyebrows...

Who thinks of this stuff?



Oh, wait. Yeah.